All or nothing? 100 % ????

lol ya this is my 100th post hahaha thats y must relate the title to it.

I think i reached a crossroad. I mean a major crossroad. I should have arrived here 5 years ago but i spent my time walking around in circles, or rather just sitting down staring the crossroad on the horizon. So here i am, back in this spot where i once was.

Been a decade since my last crossroad, the path between daniel and xtra. I'm not even entirely sure if im at one actually, i cant really c. I have been walking blind all these years. And deaf too, i cant really hear much. All i knew is to walk, somewhere, anywhere.

Haiz i really wish i can hide in some corner, run into a far far away land, n nv come back. Wish that i will just disappear, and every1 will magically forget my existence, and get on with living their own lives. I wish i can do nothing. I wish i nv knew. I wish that i was nv there. Can i at least pretend? this may be too much for me to bear...

But i'm unwilling. I'm unwilling to go down so easily. Something inside me tells to not stop, i must carry on. Go on. dun stop. Go on. dun stop. I'm tired, but i refuse to admit it. I'm broken, but i refuse to show it. I just wish for everything to disappear. Or me.

Can i carry on? can i really walk this road, so lonely, so dark... so scary. I'm afraid. I do not noe how. I do not noe y. help ......

Ohh help me to realize i have nothing to begin with. That everything is Your's to begin with. Ohhhh help me to stay focused. Lead me n guide me.

These are but dark times. Many things will change, losses will be great. I must choose carefully, for i may not be able to bear the consequences... for once.

[I will give my all, for i have nothing to lose.]

ohhh..............

Sunday post !!!!! heh :)

hahaha ya sunday post come abit early today. yup yup i woke up early today! 10 am!!! lolz probably becuz i didn't game yesterday nite. I noe, i noe ... etc. etc. ok?

10 am is supposedly on time for cell, but they wanna go zoo today, and since im serving 4 spd, i didnt go. ya lor so slack abit at home suddenly its 12pm liao then get rdy and left home lor. Hmmm today spd starting early, ok like 1.20 pm, still later than 1.15 a long long time ago, but still early la zzzz. Great that every1 came in on time/early. So we managed to standby and all on time! i personally felt that there is an improvement ya? ok la after spd went to eat lunch. flan missing. i lost, no allies 4 lunch. heng got allies eventually. yay :) Ok i crashed into choir stuff again, lolz

Was deciding if i shld go 4 3pm sermon. But i noe i wanna play monopoly deal actually. which is wad i did. Cannot win anything too slow alr. ya after that crash rehearsal n teach people lyrics. At least got some use eh??? haha then went for dinner. With only 2 more allies .... "manpower shortage" i guess. and ehh they from choir, lolz im too xtra alr zzzzzz

haha im like not inside or outside. Very confusing if u ask me. In the past its either xtra or not, now its like how many % xtra, hard to manage lolz

That sounds like my old blog title to me, so it shldn't be anything new. Alright, goodbye! =)

[ Patience! The boy must learn ... patience! - Master Yoda ]