zzzzz had my 3rd maths paper yesterday..
sian my focus is wrong... i should have looked through my past year papers..
i forgot something so basic lah.. wads wrong with me...
guess thats for violating so many "rules" that i have. all the greed of wanting more marks kinda killed me abit..
this is one paper when i noe i should have done alot better, and its becuz i nv study enuff, haiz... if i went according to my plan should be alot better.. but now i got 3 more papers to focus on..
3 more... gogogo. y my brain refuses to work earlier is beyond me..... guess exams r like taking 2.4km run, not a 100 m sprint...
[to err is human, to donate marks is daniel]
aiya i broke another of my rules again, not to spend more den 1 hr thinking of my past paper...
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Monday, November 17, 2008
This is madness!
yea it is.. this uni, this course, this slackness, this is madness! prepare for glory!!
errr nope.. nah nv watch 300 recently.. but ya this is really. madness.
This studying, that i am still "slacking", that i am blogging on the day of my exam even tho i feel like i dun really noe everything, even left 1 tutorial totally undone, nv even really memorise my formulas, still can go lan yesterday, and spent a whole day in church today, and yet still feel ok about it. its madness. all of this.... crazy lah heh heh
Yea went for lan yesterday lol, nv felt so guilty in my whole life b4, met eug for dinner and "study" at his hse. And den it was sunday....
Sunday.... woke up and went home. Left for cell.. i kinda felt the urge not to go, but i tell myself that "i must! i must!" :D Yup felt really sian lah. Not becuz of cell of cuz... I realised during cell that this uni is very diff from that poly, that im not the daniel from last time alr :(. That this time in uni, i really wanna excel, or at least do my very best. And this is a really really old feeling. And thats y i feel im kinda stressing myself, been trying to push myself lately.... im gonna turn mugger soon!! :):) ohh yea! Talking about this feeling, its been TEN long years since i felt like tat.. TEN!!! that is almost "ancient"! Yea that was during my psle yup.... haha that was the last time i recalled feeling like wad im feeling now. My sec school days r the exact opposite, trying to get the best possible results without studying at all. And my poly is juz plain slack... haha i juz felt that it is. It was not about getting good grades to go to uni, or a better job. I did not want to score too bad as its a real waste, and wasn't really out to "kill". Then come uni, i suddenly want to turn mugger, and thus have to recall daniel from p5/6.. yup. and that is.. bad.
And talking about slack, how do u define it... am i slack u say?? going out here and there... and play mmo in exam. Zzz i must study more??? how??? Just becuz i choose not to sacrifice certain things in the exam means im slack?! ... heck, i have already deprived myself of gaming (i game with the intention of studying better later nowadays), I aim to convert every single possible minute into study when im at home. I dunnoe wad else i can give up to study more seriously, i deny myself of any self rest just so that i can study maximum, i feel like i let the whole world down if i dun study (an exxeration(sp?))... and i am... slack. I dunnoe wad to say.
And it was sunday!! yup ate my chicken chop mee for lunch... and then served for 3 pm.. the service is on some family thing. Got me thinking of when was the last time i prayed for stuff. My cell, my family , tech , frens blah blah... I recently feel so out of touch nowadays lah.. today i felt like i was going abit crazy alr lol. I want to but its like... so far away......
Today paper coming soon!! im gonna try to derive the formulas and try to calculate tomorrow with my engineering sense. Thats becuz i havent really done a single tutorial qn on the topic.... dun ask me y... And yea this reminds me of my no calculator e.maths term test in sec 4.. when i got no calculator and was still among the top few, juz becuz i like a handicap match hahaha. Really scary stunt if u ask me.. jiayou!
Sleep is the best... goodnite..
[ :) ]
errr nope.. nah nv watch 300 recently.. but ya this is really. madness.
This studying, that i am still "slacking", that i am blogging on the day of my exam even tho i feel like i dun really noe everything, even left 1 tutorial totally undone, nv even really memorise my formulas, still can go lan yesterday, and spent a whole day in church today, and yet still feel ok about it. its madness. all of this.... crazy lah heh heh
Yea went for lan yesterday lol, nv felt so guilty in my whole life b4, met eug for dinner and "study" at his hse. And den it was sunday....
Sunday.... woke up and went home. Left for cell.. i kinda felt the urge not to go, but i tell myself that "i must! i must!" :D Yup felt really sian lah. Not becuz of cell of cuz... I realised during cell that this uni is very diff from that poly, that im not the daniel from last time alr :(. That this time in uni, i really wanna excel, or at least do my very best. And this is a really really old feeling. And thats y i feel im kinda stressing myself, been trying to push myself lately.... im gonna turn mugger soon!! :):) ohh yea! Talking about this feeling, its been TEN long years since i felt like tat.. TEN!!! that is almost "ancient"! Yea that was during my psle yup.... haha that was the last time i recalled feeling like wad im feeling now. My sec school days r the exact opposite, trying to get the best possible results without studying at all. And my poly is juz plain slack... haha i juz felt that it is. It was not about getting good grades to go to uni, or a better job. I did not want to score too bad as its a real waste, and wasn't really out to "kill". Then come uni, i suddenly want to turn mugger, and thus have to recall daniel from p5/6.. yup. and that is.. bad.
And talking about slack, how do u define it... am i slack u say?? going out here and there... and play mmo in exam. Zzz i must study more??? how??? Just becuz i choose not to sacrifice certain things in the exam means im slack?! ... heck, i have already deprived myself of gaming (i game with the intention of studying better later nowadays), I aim to convert every single possible minute into study when im at home. I dunnoe wad else i can give up to study more seriously, i deny myself of any self rest just so that i can study maximum, i feel like i let the whole world down if i dun study (an exxeration(sp?))... and i am... slack. I dunnoe wad to say.
And it was sunday!! yup ate my chicken chop mee for lunch... and then served for 3 pm.. the service is on some family thing. Got me thinking of when was the last time i prayed for stuff. My cell, my family , tech , frens blah blah... I recently feel so out of touch nowadays lah.. today i felt like i was going abit crazy alr lol. I want to but its like... so far away......
Today paper coming soon!! im gonna try to derive the formulas and try to calculate tomorrow with my engineering sense. Thats becuz i havent really done a single tutorial qn on the topic.... dun ask me y... And yea this reminds me of my no calculator e.maths term test in sec 4.. when i got no calculator and was still among the top few, juz becuz i like a handicap match hahaha. Really scary stunt if u ask me.. jiayou!
Sleep is the best... goodnite..
[ :) ]
Monday, November 10, 2008
Why is daniel blogging at 4+ am on a monday morning again?!!
becuz he is gonna start studying and he got exams in 2 days !! =)
ok fine i slept at 9 am yesterday lol
hahaha ya la becuz we got no choice, and we ll got to mug, got to mug... grrrr stupid song *shivers.. dun remind me..
Err anyway gonna start studying soon la :P
ok ya past week has been "pure" mugging, by my standards, not the max of the max studying, but as hardcore as my leveling in mmo's, now i can't think of any harder way to study hahaha. And i realised that studying is a very tiring thing (been slacking all my life), unlike playing game, u get tired after 2 hrs and u need a break.. but play game can go on for 4 hours straight. ya so need alot of breaks, been trying to cut abit of break time to maximise my efficiency!! yup.
Ok anyway went to study at downtown on sat with eug overnite!! ok la can la quite productive went home at 7 am and slept... didn't set alarm, but i ended up waking up on time for cell lol.. i dunnoe how, i was half awake den this thot "come on, dun be so lazy lah juz wake up" so i woke up lor c the time 10.50 and went for cell! yup :) (ehh sorry that i dun have much to say about cell, dunnoe how to put it down) Went to serve for 3 pm! as cam 5... ya and during p&w i had this sudden flashback/deja vu feeling lol, i suddenly felt like it was 3 years ago where i was still a innocent little member only noe cam 1 and 5, haha and camera felt so fun :P, with some of the old things coming back.. lol was kinda "liberated" for like 10 seconds, den im back to reality....... ok now its good too :) its juz different lah. Ok went for dinner after service and den to the library!! hehe mugger! becuz i noe i will sleep if i go home lah, library will be forced to study. Was really tired, squeezed 2 chapters, and den i KOed when i reached home after turning on my com!! too tired lah.
The boss battle is coming soon!! (plays the ff7 boss battle theme)
[ good luck to me!! thx to every1 who wished me for exams! :):) ]
ok fine i slept at 9 am yesterday lol
hahaha ya la becuz we got no choice, and we ll got to mug, got to mug... grrrr stupid song *shivers.. dun remind me..
Err anyway gonna start studying soon la :P
ok ya past week has been "pure" mugging, by my standards, not the max of the max studying, but as hardcore as my leveling in mmo's, now i can't think of any harder way to study hahaha. And i realised that studying is a very tiring thing (been slacking all my life), unlike playing game, u get tired after 2 hrs and u need a break.. but play game can go on for 4 hours straight. ya so need alot of breaks, been trying to cut abit of break time to maximise my efficiency!! yup.
Ok anyway went to study at downtown on sat with eug overnite!! ok la can la quite productive went home at 7 am and slept... didn't set alarm, but i ended up waking up on time for cell lol.. i dunnoe how, i was half awake den this thot "come on, dun be so lazy lah juz wake up" so i woke up lor c the time 10.50 and went for cell! yup :) (ehh sorry that i dun have much to say about cell, dunnoe how to put it down) Went to serve for 3 pm! as cam 5... ya and during p&w i had this sudden flashback/deja vu feeling lol, i suddenly felt like it was 3 years ago where i was still a innocent little member only noe cam 1 and 5, haha and camera felt so fun :P, with some of the old things coming back.. lol was kinda "liberated" for like 10 seconds, den im back to reality....... ok now its good too :) its juz different lah. Ok went for dinner after service and den to the library!! hehe mugger! becuz i noe i will sleep if i go home lah, library will be forced to study. Was really tired, squeezed 2 chapters, and den i KOed when i reached home after turning on my com!! too tired lah.
The boss battle is coming soon!! (plays the ff7 boss battle theme)
[ good luck to me!! thx to every1 who wished me for exams! :):) ]
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
The limit
Ahh the limit... wad is the limit.. or rather, wad is ur limit??? how much can u take b4 u crumble?? how much do u tell urself u can take???? how much can u really really take???? Haiz, i must endure, i must perservere, with no slowing down, without showing any sign of exhaustion. All alone, this road i must walk. With strength and courage i will carry on, without any doubt, because its what i have chosen and i noe its wad i should do. To do what i have to and must do, this is above me, more important than my little hope, my little dream, my little comfort. To put aside all those and strive forward, to carry on, despite the cirumstances. Ohh give me this Your strength, Your hope, Your wisdom, Your love that i might go beyond... my limit, for Your will.
Time to officially start studying!!! All the way with no mercy to me! :)
[Endeavour and Perservere]
Time to officially start studying!!! All the way with no mercy to me! :)
[Endeavour and Perservere]
27 days work; 1 day off !!!
which is today!!! ok yesterday, but still its today at where i was at the exact moment i typed this. hmm ok lar, its on the 4th of november 2008. Where i escaped to batam when i should be mugging like crazy... but im crazy enuff to go there despite having 3 tutorials and 3 lectures.... yea :):):)
Anyway, yup, it was a day of first!! many many first! ok some r juz randomly made up by me now...
1. My firz cell outing overseas!! it really is, lol who will notice.
2. My firz time overseas with a camera phone!! my omnia.. Oo, still lose to all the digi cam tho... but i finally have a camera phone again! wow so many years for this to happen.
3. My first time in indonesia... ohh well, crossing over it on a C130 doesn't really count lol.
4. My firz time kneeboarding/*cable skiing.. ok tried.. but its really hard.. starting it feels weird.. but kneeboarding is fun tho, tho very tiring on arms, should use it as training in bmt for chin ups haha.
5. My first spa and message!! ya lor.. ok la quite nice.... but its my firz time i can't say how nice it is. Really 22 years on this earth now i finally noe wad a real message feels like..
6. My firz time pillion riding!! u noe, my mother will kill me for this, dun think any1 noes this haha. But i got no choice lah. ohh and it feels like a bicycle lah..
7. My first time in batam!! ok it overlaps with the 3rd one, but thats wad world record holders do, recreate a new record by doing wad they already noe in a slightly different way. Ya really lah.. go there and lost only.
Ok lor i was quite "mountain tortoise" there... hmm
Speaking of trips, i juz realised i have never been very enthusiastic about it all my life (no1 reads this thats y i can say that). Yup, in fact there's this point in my life where i kinda hated travelling. So ok lar wadeva... i realised that when im on holiday, i can't really be on holiday, my life has turned too serious, and i guess this is wad i will be. i foresee myself to be the hardcore workaholic that works non stop all day with totally no life not for the sake of money but becuz i like work and there is nothing better else to do. That is if i find a job i really like or start my own business and remain single of cuz... haha. And ya i can't really have alot of fun when overseas, so called, u will c me being 'lost' somewhere becuz that is wad im really used to alr. Hmm and oso i do not have many good memories of travelling... so all these came back to me again. i recall..
My parents quarelling when we were in thailand.
My brothers 'ignoring' me in genting, being xtraxtraxtra in the family, how cool is that.
My ultimate loner trip when i was sec 3 in cameroon highlands.
My farming mission in australia where my goal is to live each day saving the most amount of money and waiting for it to pass.
So when im holiday, i will automatically switch to the xtra mode, naturally.
All these small minor hindrances aside, the trip was generally fun and good!! ya i got nothing to complain about really haha... except i feel like i spent alot!!! Still wondering wad a really fun holiday feels like tho... hmm will i ever noe.........
[Im the one to blame - JBD]
Ha. Ha. Ha :D
Anyway, yup, it was a day of first!! many many first! ok some r juz randomly made up by me now...
1. My firz cell outing overseas!! it really is, lol who will notice.
2. My firz time overseas with a camera phone!! my omnia.. Oo, still lose to all the digi cam tho... but i finally have a camera phone again! wow so many years for this to happen.
3. My first time in indonesia... ohh well, crossing over it on a C130 doesn't really count lol.
4. My firz time kneeboarding/*cable skiing.. ok tried.. but its really hard.. starting it feels weird.. but kneeboarding is fun tho, tho very tiring on arms, should use it as training in bmt for chin ups haha.
5. My first spa and message!! ya lor.. ok la quite nice.... but its my firz time i can't say how nice it is. Really 22 years on this earth now i finally noe wad a real message feels like..
6. My firz time pillion riding!! u noe, my mother will kill me for this, dun think any1 noes this haha. But i got no choice lah. ohh and it feels like a bicycle lah..
7. My first time in batam!! ok it overlaps with the 3rd one, but thats wad world record holders do, recreate a new record by doing wad they already noe in a slightly different way. Ya really lah.. go there and lost only.
Ok lor i was quite "mountain tortoise" there... hmm
Speaking of trips, i juz realised i have never been very enthusiastic about it all my life (no1 reads this thats y i can say that). Yup, in fact there's this point in my life where i kinda hated travelling. So ok lar wadeva... i realised that when im on holiday, i can't really be on holiday, my life has turned too serious, and i guess this is wad i will be. i foresee myself to be the hardcore workaholic that works non stop all day with totally no life not for the sake of money but becuz i like work and there is nothing better else to do. That is if i find a job i really like or start my own business and remain single of cuz... haha. And ya i can't really have alot of fun when overseas, so called, u will c me being 'lost' somewhere becuz that is wad im really used to alr. Hmm and oso i do not have many good memories of travelling... so all these came back to me again. i recall..
My parents quarelling when we were in thailand.
My brothers 'ignoring' me in genting, being xtraxtraxtra in the family, how cool is that.
My ultimate loner trip when i was sec 3 in cameroon highlands.
My farming mission in australia where my goal is to live each day saving the most amount of money and waiting for it to pass.
So when im holiday, i will automatically switch to the xtra mode, naturally.
All these small minor hindrances aside, the trip was generally fun and good!! ya i got nothing to complain about really haha... except i feel like i spent alot!!! Still wondering wad a really fun holiday feels like tho... hmm will i ever noe.........
[Im the one to blame - JBD]
Ha. Ha. Ha :D
Monday, November 3, 2008
Desire...
ok hello...
ohh i went to study at esplanade library on saturday wif jon and esther haha, quite rare that i actually studied at a library lah.. i nv ever do that b4 my uni days one lol. Anyway, cant even do 1 qn la, m i dead or wad.. zzz. And i felt like i noe most of my stuff, tink must try exams qns. I need to regain my confidence lah. And den went to eat sushi $1 only with alot of wasabi... ouch....
And then it was sunday!!! hehe sunday is sunday! ok stop crapping... ya lor went for 11 am with cell ya. Yup i actually tink i have some of those pre-conceived notions on revelations that pastor shared, when i read the book much younger and i nv really read it with a proper perspective, ahh ok good that i cleared the air on some stuff... And on revelation, i used to wonder y God would be so "evil" and rain down so much judgement on mankind, but as i grew older i actually realised that He is very loving to save us, to be so patient with us despite our ohh-so-obvious-die-die-refuse-to-admit-it-fallen nature, that all we really need in life is actually Him, not all those other things... That the book actually tells of how He is so patient with man and still wanting to save despite judgement, instead of it being a sadist book on "ohh im gonna judge u all for denying me muahaha" kinda thing.
And ya i served for spdlite today, and the sermon is on desire which is the title of this post, means that i spend too much time typing fillers... Yup its on how we have strong desires, and He will grant us those desires if we ask. Yah i noe i heard this kind of thing alot alr. Got reminded of my desireless teenage years lol, on how i tried to lose all desires becuz i tink that any form of desire is self-centered/gain and therefore its all bad. (abit like buddhism thing but not that extreme ya) But i learnt that if we submit our desires unto Him, then he is gracious enuff to bless us... Went back slept and went for dinner with family.. Oo.. den met flan for "movie", which we nv watch, lol rare lah. Ended up walking ard and having supper at mac..
And since no one still reads this blog, i decided to share abit on my desires!! haha! altho they r seriously weird and kinda screwed.. but i decided to put them anyway, and if u wonder y, den u haven't been reading my blog properly. Ok i hope i dun offend any1 or anything like that.
I got this desire to prove that one can still achieve considerably good results without studying really hard blindly.. by being disciplined and studying smart and with His grace of cuz..... Becuz i noe i am where i am becuz of Him. I'm not giving an excuse for slacking...
I also have this desire to show that staying commited to church is possible despite life's storms and changes. That my priority will always be to honour Him, that even if one's life gets harder, with more things to crowd our life, that i will look to Him always. That is y i resolve never to give up on church juz to study more/project meeting/wadeva. Unless on certain cases lah.
I also desire to earn my fortune (who doesn't / this is certainly something new lol) not by the normal way of thinking of $$$ 24/7 but by trusting in Him and being "smart" of cuz :P That i might use my wealth to bless others. And own some luxurious stuff juz becuz i can not becuz i want them really badly in the first place hahaha.
And of cuz i desire to be an engineer, lol if not y am i studying in ntu. And to learn not for exams but becuz i really have a passion for it. yup :)
I desire to bless others with wadeva little i have, my cell, my friends, tech, family... Ya that somehow i will make that teeny weeny little bit of difference in their life, no matter how tiny it is :D
And of cuz, i desire to live a life that glorifies Him most importantly of all.
wow long post...
[Type too much to rmb wad i wanted to put here]
ohh i went to study at esplanade library on saturday wif jon and esther haha, quite rare that i actually studied at a library lah.. i nv ever do that b4 my uni days one lol. Anyway, cant even do 1 qn la, m i dead or wad.. zzz. And i felt like i noe most of my stuff, tink must try exams qns. I need to regain my confidence lah. And den went to eat sushi $1 only with alot of wasabi... ouch....
And then it was sunday!!! hehe sunday is sunday! ok stop crapping... ya lor went for 11 am with cell ya. Yup i actually tink i have some of those pre-conceived notions on revelations that pastor shared, when i read the book much younger and i nv really read it with a proper perspective, ahh ok good that i cleared the air on some stuff... And on revelation, i used to wonder y God would be so "evil" and rain down so much judgement on mankind, but as i grew older i actually realised that He is very loving to save us, to be so patient with us despite our ohh-so-obvious-die-die-refuse-to-admit-it-fallen nature, that all we really need in life is actually Him, not all those other things... That the book actually tells of how He is so patient with man and still wanting to save despite judgement, instead of it being a sadist book on "ohh im gonna judge u all for denying me muahaha" kinda thing.
And ya i served for spdlite today, and the sermon is on desire which is the title of this post, means that i spend too much time typing fillers... Yup its on how we have strong desires, and He will grant us those desires if we ask. Yah i noe i heard this kind of thing alot alr. Got reminded of my desireless teenage years lol, on how i tried to lose all desires becuz i tink that any form of desire is self-centered/gain and therefore its all bad. (abit like buddhism thing but not that extreme ya) But i learnt that if we submit our desires unto Him, then he is gracious enuff to bless us... Went back slept and went for dinner with family.. Oo.. den met flan for "movie", which we nv watch, lol rare lah. Ended up walking ard and having supper at mac..
And since no one still reads this blog, i decided to share abit on my desires!! haha! altho they r seriously weird and kinda screwed.. but i decided to put them anyway, and if u wonder y, den u haven't been reading my blog properly. Ok i hope i dun offend any1 or anything like that.
I got this desire to prove that one can still achieve considerably good results without studying really hard blindly.. by being disciplined and studying smart and with His grace of cuz..... Becuz i noe i am where i am becuz of Him. I'm not giving an excuse for slacking...
I also have this desire to show that staying commited to church is possible despite life's storms and changes. That my priority will always be to honour Him, that even if one's life gets harder, with more things to crowd our life, that i will look to Him always. That is y i resolve never to give up on church juz to study more/project meeting/wadeva. Unless on certain cases lah.
I also desire to earn my fortune (who doesn't / this is certainly something new lol) not by the normal way of thinking of $$$ 24/7 but by trusting in Him and being "smart" of cuz :P That i might use my wealth to bless others. And own some luxurious stuff juz becuz i can not becuz i want them really badly in the first place hahaha.
And of cuz i desire to be an engineer, lol if not y am i studying in ntu. And to learn not for exams but becuz i really have a passion for it. yup :)
I desire to bless others with wadeva little i have, my cell, my friends, tech, family... Ya that somehow i will make that teeny weeny little bit of difference in their life, no matter how tiny it is :D
And of cuz, i desire to live a life that glorifies Him most importantly of all.
wow long post...
[Type too much to rmb wad i wanted to put here]
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