This is madness!

yea it is.. this uni, this course, this slackness, this is madness! prepare for glory!!
errr nope.. nah nv watch 300 recently.. but ya this is really. madness.

This studying, that i am still "slacking", that i am blogging on the day of my exam even tho i feel like i dun really noe everything, even left 1 tutorial totally undone, nv even really memorise my formulas, still can go lan yesterday, and spent a whole day in church today, and yet still feel ok about it. its madness. all of this.... crazy lah heh heh

Yea went for lan yesterday lol, nv felt so guilty in my whole life b4, met eug for dinner and "study" at his hse. And den it was sunday....

Sunday.... woke up and went home. Left for cell.. i kinda felt the urge not to go, but i tell myself that "i must! i must!" :D Yup felt really sian lah. Not becuz of cell of cuz... I realised during cell that this uni is very diff from that poly, that im not the daniel from last time alr :(. That this time in uni, i really wanna excel, or at least do my very best. And this is a really really old feeling. And thats y i feel im kinda stressing myself, been trying to push myself lately.... im gonna turn mugger soon!! :):) ohh yea! Talking about this feeling, its been TEN long years since i felt like tat.. TEN!!! that is almost "ancient"! Yea that was during my psle yup.... haha that was the last time i recalled feeling like wad im feeling now. My sec school days r the exact opposite, trying to get the best possible results without studying at all. And my poly is juz plain slack... haha i juz felt that it is. It was not about getting good grades to go to uni, or a better job. I did not want to score too bad as its a real waste, and wasn't really out to "kill". Then come uni, i suddenly want to turn mugger, and thus have to recall daniel from p5/6.. yup. and that is.. bad.
And talking about slack, how do u define it... am i slack u say?? going out here and there... and play mmo in exam. Zzz i must study more??? how??? Just becuz i choose not to sacrifice certain things in the exam means im slack?! ... heck, i have already deprived myself of gaming (i game with the intention of studying better later nowadays), I aim to convert every single possible minute into study when im at home. I dunnoe wad else i can give up to study more seriously, i deny myself of any self rest just so that i can study maximum, i feel like i let the whole world down if i dun study (an exxeration(sp?))... and i am... slack. I dunnoe wad to say.

And it was sunday!! yup ate my chicken chop mee for lunch... and then served for 3 pm.. the service is on some family thing. Got me thinking of when was the last time i prayed for stuff. My cell, my family , tech , frens blah blah... I recently feel so out of touch nowadays lah.. today i felt like i was going abit crazy alr lol. I want to but its like... so far away......

Today paper coming soon!! im gonna try to derive the formulas and try to calculate tomorrow with my engineering sense. Thats becuz i havent really done a single tutorial qn on the topic.... dun ask me y... And yea this reminds me of my no calculator e.maths term test in sec 4.. when i got no calculator and was still among the top few, juz becuz i like a handicap match hahaha. Really scary stunt if u ask me.. jiayou!

Sleep is the best... goodnite..

[ :) ]